Perfection (heaven, if you prefer) would be a place where lots of things need fixing.

deviantART, I have been ignoring you. I know I'm not one of the most productive people on here or in any of the watchlists I'm on, but I've been slacking off badly these past few months.

Shit Has Hit The Fan. I quit university because I didn't seem to be able to put enough effort in it to get useful grades out, and I'm planning to start a teacher's education next year. It's not a last resort, I was planning to teach anyway - but through university I would at least have learned a little more on the physics side.

Ever since I got back on my meds (Concerta 36mg, mostly for the concentration disorder part of my ADHD) I've been a bit less creative. It's kind of odd how drugs that help me focus on the task at hand completely break my ability to relax and create. However, for the past months I've been sitting at home doing hardly a thing, and right now I'm really trying to get back into things simply because I don't have anything else to do.

I did get a job, for a few hours per week (retail, Xenos, great people, relaxed work, minimum wage -_-' ) and thanks to that I finally had the money to fulfill a year-old dream: to buy a new camera. I bought my first compact about two years ago, and while I'm very happy with my Panasonic FX12 it *is* a bit on the limited side. Monday night, after a few days of reading reviews and specifications and some hunting on Kelkoo.nl (great, great site) I got myself a very awesome deal on a Sony α200 + 18-700mm lens. I spent yesterday reading the manual that Sony had up for download and a book that taught me a little more about photography. This afternoon the camera should arrive (hurray for track&trace) and then I shall have some fun.

I'll try and get you folks some actual dA updates, some time in the future. Photography or music/poetry, I dunno, but I really need to get something done.

(Note: despite the number of brand names in this post I do not get paid for any of this.)

(Note: I'll try to have a look at all the deviations I haven't checked out yet, honestly)

||UPDATE||: The song I'm working on is pretty much done. It feels awesome to actually get something done, even if I'm being horribly slow. Currently working on a guitar something to go with it which is going fairly smooth. Yay! Now let's hope I can get this done and recorded before uni starts again.

I'm alive. Still. Yeah.

My life has been mildly overturned over the past few months. My day was one of disappointment and excellently retarded miscommunication. And you know what? I don't care - I'm doing great. The life seems to be getting back on the tracks quite nicely and I'll be back on top before you can say HEYYOUWERETHATGUYWHOMESSEDUPLASTYEARRIGHT.

I haven't been as productive as I'd have liked to, but there are updates! My current project is scrapbooked at . What I like more is that I've finally made some progress in a song that I started on, uh, two and a half years back. I've been utterly stuck with that one for ages because the only thing that occurred to me sounded _horrible_, but now I've written two more lines that are pretty neat and will probably get me to finish it.

As for drawing: sorry, I don't feel it's going to happen any time soon. I'm surrounded by amazing artwork - both here and in webcomics that I read - and that has the habit of removing all of my confidence when I try to practice. So far I've drawn a recognizable picture of the head of my guitar, and that took a couple of hours to get right.

I'll leave you with a music recommendation. You might remember Chumbawamba - the group that once had a hit, in '97, with the pretty amazing Tubthumping. "I get not down, but I get up again - you're never gonna keep me down!". They've been active since 1982 (old farts they are by now, yes) and are still going strong, although their music has changed quite a bit over the years. They still have the same mildly ironic anarcho-punk lyrics, but their music is, well, soft. Suggested albums are "A Singsong & A Scrap", "UN" and "The Boy Bands Have Won".

"Some set their heart on a rocking chair, the better to sleep out the day
but I'm looking for a reason to kick and scream - I don't want to fade away"
-- Chumbawamba, Fade Away (I Don't Want To)


Love & kisses to those who feel like some and shits & giggles to all,

The guy behind the keyboard.

So hi.
Yes, I do actually exist and live. Unlike you, of course.
I really do!

Okay. My activity on here may not be perfect evidence for that. I know, right. I'd like to apologise both to myself and to the two people the two people of whom I know that they will read this - you still regularly check my page, and I love you for that! Well, that and other things I guess, otherwise my love would probably be everywhere by now.

Anyway! My RL situation is, to say the least, a bit messed up at this time. I'll not elaborate, but rest assured that I will come out of it unscathed and only more experienced, if anything at all.

In the short run this means I have plenty of time left to do WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT. This also means that I've been writing a bit more of late, a habit I plan to continue. This head of mine is full of *ideas* that demand to be turned into *things* (olookitme i made a plato reference), and I'd love to do that during the next few weeks. Now some of my time could of course be viciously murdered because I finally got a new library card which means I'll likely be reading lots and lots as well. More than usual, anyway, which isn't actually that much. That sure tops hanging in front of my laptop doing nothing all day, doesn't it?

As said, I'll be writing some more. I'll try and push myself to actually finish some things, if that doesn't work out you'll be seeing a few works in progress.

More news! I bought myself a set of charcoal pencils. I might actually be teaching myself to draw something, someday, but that's very much a long-term goal.

Also! (using PS is booring) I've gotten myself two new albums by the band The Scene, and old Dutch... rockband, to put it simply. I've fallen in love with the song "Wondermooi".

So now - See y'all, I promise it won't take too long.

Lots of things have happened since my last post, moreso IRL than here on this dA account. I'll try to summarize (but first a painkiller, excuse me).

I have been neglecting some of my passions. I haven't written much. Only added a few lines to some unfinished works, but nothing new. I haven't practiced enough with my guitar (hell, I've not practiced enough in the two years I've been playing).

Life hasn't been particularly kind to me. I'm badly messing up at university (but it'll all be better next year, I promise!) and I've just broken up with my girlfriend. On the latter - we were having plenty of fun, but sex and listening to music do not a relationship make, annoyingly.

As you've probably noticed I've been using my photo camera a lot lately. My Panasonic DMC-FX12 isn't exactly a DSLR (the unability to set shutter speed and diaphragm manually pains me) but it does enable me to take some pretty pictures. I seem to be mildly obsessed with anything involving the sun. Sun shining through trees is probably the picture I take the most. I'm considering getting a low-end DSLR when I get a job, probably a Canon EOS something.

Oh yeah, I've started a new website. Bleischweigen is mildly inspired by A Softer World [link] and the old classic 13 Words. Just oh so slightly, though. I haven't got a lot of content yet, and I'm still in the process of getting the hang of it, but it might well work someday: [link] . Regarding the url: don't ask.

Dang, had an idea for a song before I started writing this, but I lost it. Should've recorded it then <.<

Addendum. Right, you might well be wondering why I'm so tired. For the few who might read this without knowing, I'm in a church choir. I assure you I'm not a sola scriptura believer. In fact, I don't think I believe in anything but humans and humanity. Anyway. The idea to do something sort of "spiritual" during the night before Easter had been playing in some of our heads for a while already, and this year we finally did it. Roughly amounted to me pulling an allnighter with plenty of coffee, then going on until 1AM last night. I'm you'll understand the painkiller now ^_^